I want both songs to be my prayer.  I so often get blinded by my own little world, that I fail to see others around me. I pray God continues to “knock me over the head” when I get too inward focused.  Here are the lyrics to  the songs:

Looking Through His Eyes

Let me see this world, dear Lord

As though I were looking through Your eyes.

A world of men who don’t want You Lord,

But a world for which You died.

Let me kneel with You in the garden,

Blur my eyes with tears of agony;

For if once I could see this world the way You see,

I just know I’d serve You more faithfully.

Let me see this world, dear Lord,

Through Your eyes when men mocked Your Holy Name.

When they beat You and spat upon You, Lord,

Let me love them as You loved them just the same.

Let me stand high above my petty problems,

And grieve for men, hell bound eternally;

For if once I could see this world the way You see,

I just know I’d serve You more faithfully.”

 Give Me Your Eyes

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work
He’s buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

I’ve been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way You see the people all
alone

This summer, the weight loss competition was very important to me, so I made the time for it. Unfortunately, at times it became too high on the priority list.  Sometimes, I would use it as an excuse to not have the time for something else. That was wrong. I was saying it isn’t important enough to me.  My Bible reading time took a back seat…and as a result, my relationship with God suffered.  I have repented and asked God for forgiveness. And you know what? My God is rich in mercy! He loves me and forgives me. He extends His grace and mercy!  This morning I was reminded of my favorite hymn, “Great is Thy Faithfulness”.  Singing the song, even just saying the words makes me cry. I think of how very faithful God is and how so many times I blow it. Yet, He still loves me…He still desires fellowship with me. Oh wow! How humbling.

God is so good. I am so thankful that I am important to Him. And so are YOU!

I have learned a lot about myself and about life in general over the last 3 months. One thing is that I had a pretty low opinion of myself. I felt selfish for taking time away from the family.  I had to keep reminding myself that it was ok to be “selfish” and spend so much time at the gym and at home exercising.  It helped so much to have family and friends that were very supportive.

 I also had a low opinion on what I could do at the gym. But my trainer pushed me, pushed me way beyond my “comfort level”.  I found that I could accomplish much more than I could ever imagine. Each time, my muscles gained strength. Before I knew it, I was doing things that I never ever thought I could do.   You know, God does that with me too. He asks me to do something and I think that there is no way that I could do it, or that someone else could do it much better. Then He stretches me, beyond my comfort zone. And little by little, I build up that spiritual muscle.

As I continue processing all that has happened in me over the last few months, I will be sharing more.

I lost 40 pounds between May of 2009 and May of 2010. I gained about 13 of it back. I now have lost 27 pounds, for a total of 54. I have a lot further to go.  At my heaviest I was in the “morbidly obese” category. How embarrassing! My health was declining. I was tired all the time.  I wanted to be in shape for my family. I wanted to be around to see my grandchildren. 

Yesterday, I got my latest lab results. All my numbers were within normal limits for the first time! I can’t tell you what a boost that was for me, especially since I have been on a plateau for about 3 weeks.  My A1C was 4.9%, glucose 96. I am not diabetic anymore!  That doesn’t mean I can go back to eating how I was! I want to continue feeling this way: I feel like a new woman.

I cannot take all the credit…and I really don’t want to either. First of all, I credit God with my success.  I had cried out to Him for help, telling Him that I couldn’t do it any longer on my own.  Shortly after that, I found out about our local Biggest Loser Challenge. God is so good. I’ve had unlimited use of the sports and fitness center and a personal trainer for 2 one-hour sessions a week…all for free!  My trainer, now there’s another person to give credit to. He has consistently pushed me to do more than I ever thought I could.   When I would whine, he’d ignore it and push me harder!

I also give credit to my family and friends. What support they have all shown!  There have been times that I’ve been depressed about not losing as much as I thought I should, and then God brought along a family member or friend with an encouraging word just at the right time!

A friend of mine recently started her own journey. I am praying for her and trying to be an encouragement to her. I know how good she is going to feel! She’s going to feel like a new woman!   It’s contagious!  If you are ready to start your own journey, please let me know. I would love to be your prayer warrior.

Recently an opportunity was presented to me that I could not pass up. Our local AA ball team, along with a sports and fitness center were doing a Biggest Loser Competiton. Contestants would get unlimited use of the fitness center and 2 one-hour sessions with a personal trainer per week. The competition was free! It was during the summer. How could I pass on that?
I entered the contest and began my summer adventure! I wanted to give up after my first training session. My thighs were so sore that it hurt to sit down. I ached for a week.  Then, a vein in my right leg was giving me pain. It hurt to walk. That was a good excuse to stop. But, I pressed on. Then my left knee and foot started giving me problems. Well, of course, this is a great excuse to stop. My dr. prescribed physical therapy and it has helped temendously. I am done  giving excuses for giving up. I am not giving up this time. I want to get healthy and stay healthy. It is not easy. No one said it would be. It is hard, it is painful at times, but it is so worth it.

On Facebook I have shared about what I am doing. I’ve told family and friends. This is all helping me to stay accountable.  And I know I couldn’t be doing it without the strength that God gives me.

 I had a 2 year old and an infant at the time. My husband was employed at our church.  It was a large church with a large staff.  All the wives of men on staff, were on staff too.  All, that is, except me.  They were all involved in some area of ministry within the church. I went through times of great confusion during those years. I felt guilty that I was the only wife that stayed at home full time. I wanted to stay at home with my children. That is what my husband wanted too. But yet, I often felt that I should be serving within the church.

One day, I was going through a particular hard time with it. During a time of worship at prayer group, I cried out to God. I pleaded with Him to please show me what my area of ministry was. I wanted to know what I was supposed to be doing.  He answered me! I cried and cried tears of relief. I finally had an answer and I finally had peace about it.  I felt He said that my husband and my children WERE my ministry! Wow!

I wish that I could say that over the  past 17 years, I never forgot about that moment. There have been times when I felt guilty for not being more involved at church. There have been times when I have been too involved at church. But, I get my focus back where it needs to be: family first.  That does not mean family only. But it  does mean that I need to evaluate my level of involvement (in church or in community). If I am taking on too much, I get stressed.  And we all know, when Mama gets stressed, the family gets stressed.  

That night that God spoke to me, is so clear in my mind right now. I thank Him for that.

Now on the lighter side, with tomorrow being Mother’s Day, I wanted to share this story. I came across it many years ago. I have seen varying versions of it. Enjoy!

A Mother’s Job Description

A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the Motor Registration office, was asked by the counter clerk to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

“What I mean is,” explained the counter clerk, “do you have a job or are you just a …?”

“Of course I have a job,” snapped the woman. “I’m a Mom.”

“We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation, ‘housewife’ covers it,” said the clerk emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our
own Medicare office.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”

“What is your occupation?” she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I’m a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in mid air and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.

Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,

“I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn’t) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-
of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6
month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another Mom.” Motherhood!

What a glorious career! Especially when there’s a title on the door!

Does this make grandmothers “Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development
and Human Relations” And great grandmothers “Executive Senior Research Associates?”

I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts “Associate Research Assistants.”

 Should I be happy about the death of someone? No, but he was an evil man, like Hitler! Yes he was, but God created him just like He created me. That’s true, but I haven’t killed thousands of people! Sin is sin, and I have sinned.  But, others will be able to live because he is dead. Didn’t Christ die for his sins too? Yes, He did. Where is Osama now? Unless he had a miraculous death bed experience, he isn’t with God. That is not something to rejoice about.

I don’t think I am alone in my mix of emotions with this issue. How should I, as a Christian, respond to the death?  On my Facebook page, I posted some articles that attempt to answer this question. I agree with a lot of what is written in these articles.  At the same time, I disagree with some of it too.  

I want to be careful not to be quick to judge a brother’s or sister’s response to the death of Osama bin Laden.  I want to choose to extend grace and mercy. We are all trying to process this at the same time. Hopefully, others will extend grace to me as well.

Now, my own family is changing. I am not sure I am ready for it. My kids are growing up…often way faster than I think I can handle. Jesse is finishing up his first year of college. Having him away from home all day is a big enough change. I am glad he is commuting, otherwise I wouldn’t see him except at church. Next year, he may live on campus. That will be a tough one for me. Caleb is next. He is already looking into colleges. I have a strong feeling that he will end up wanting to go to one that is not local. Yikes! I want what is best for him and the rest of my children. If it is going away to college, that is fine. But it doesn’t mean that it will be an easy change for me.  I know that we all have to go through the changes of children growing up and moving on. I know that many of my friends have dealt with it and survived just fine. But just bear with me if I don’t handle it as well as the rest of you did.

It is really so sad. Are we “on our knees”? Are we in the Word? Are we seeking God’s heart in the matters? I dare say, not as much as we should be.

I pray this will be a wake-up call for all of us to dig into the Word and seek God. Let’s know what we believe and why we believe it. Let’s understand and follow the Biblical way of handling conflict.

In my home educating and in my parenting in general, I have some goals in mind. The most important goal for me is to raise up children that love and serve God. This includes them studying the Bible and making their own choices in what they believe…not just having a belief because their parents do. Along with this would be having the ability to verbalize why they believe what they believe. I want them to live what they believe: to be unashamed of the Gospel.

Another goal is for them to be able to know how to obtain information. While I think memorization of information is important, I feel it is as important, if not more, to know how to get information. Related to this is the ability to discern that information. They know that just because it is in print, doesn’t mean it’s truth.

While all my children have such different personalities, I hope each will cherish family and friends, have a servant’s heart, and live with passion.

These are just of few of my goals for my children.